As I was browsing I came across a page that’s kinda depressing to me, it’s not the pandemic though. I feel sorry for the author, I guess she is pouring her emotions out through it, in a way that could help her ease her pain. I guess she still hurting bad. I wish she finds a way out like a champ. Wish she will be happy again.

It dawned on me that many are trapped in their own misery but it’s up to them to free themselves out of it. I guess sinking on that situation so deep is not healthy because it’s like “He has absolute control over your life.” You are letting your ex manipulate you even after the break up. If they done you bad, why would anybody want their ex control over their future long after the relationship is over? Do you want that? NO WAY!

Why am I saying they are in control? Because you let them:

1. Make you miserable. You can’t stop thinking what went wrong. It made you sad. You get depressed. Everything changed, you don’t know how to start over. You felt betrayed. You are insecure. It’s normal, you are human with emotions. Let me ask you this, do you wanna live like this for years? Who wants to? Grieve for few days or weeks then gather yourself together and move on. Come on, you deserve to be happy.

2. Make it hard for you to trust again. You are dating again but the ghost of your past is haunting you. You are scared that they will turn out to be like your ex. It’s ok to ditch someone you think is bad for you as you’ve learned from your past relationships, bravo I salute you for that. What is not ok is, you found the right one but you can’t trust anymore. Your ex is clouding your judgement! Do you know that even identical twins are not exactly the same, what more are two different people?

3. Make you get scared to get close to anybody again. You found someone you got connection with but you are too scared to let him in. In the early stage of break up it’s ok to feel like you don’t wanna let your guard down to avoid hurting yourself again when everything don’t turn out the way you want it to but stay that way for awhile is like burying yourself alive. I know it’s harsh but it’s hard to find one that you have a real connection with and you are letting him go. You get lucky if that person waits, some don’t. Who would wanna be treated like an option? Nobody with high self respect would.

Being alone is great when you live at peace and happy, nothing bad about it but throwing your chance out to be happy with somebody because you are scared is not.

4. Make you bitter and want revenge. You are busy making plans for revenge, your actions are based on “how to get even”. You date just to make him jealous. You don’t want divorce so they cant get married. You spy on them. You know what? You will never move on this way. Do you know what the best revenge is? Free yourself from him. Be happy for real. Be a better version of yourself than when you were together.

5. Make you get into a rebound relationship and find yourself trap in it. Maybe your ex is with somebody else, you wanna show him that you can find one too. You date too soon, ended up with someone you don’t really have a strong connection with just so you fill the emptiness within you. You won’t be happy this way because you didn’t give yourself a chance to grieve and heal first. You will end up thinking about your ex while you’re with the new one. If that happens, who is at the losing end?

Grieve, heal then move on. The shorter you gone through this process the happier you will become … alone or with someone doesn’t matter. Forgive them not because they are asking for it or because they deserve it. Forgive them for yourself. Forgive because you deserve peace of mind and be happy.

Hey don’t waste anymore of your time being miserable, grab any chance you get to be happy as you got no idea how much longer you gonna live so make it worthwhile. Look at what is happening now, the whole world changed in just 3 months. Live while you can. You don’t wanna get old and die unhappy, do you?

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